


The Next Step

by craterdweller



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:00:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5502059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craterdweller/pseuds/craterdweller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam's just been relieved of her Atlantis command. Can the two officers find a way to be together without jeopardizing her reputation or opening the door for less scrupulous types to take advantage of those under their command?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Next Step

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to _kaige68_ and _haldoor_ for the beta :)

Lunch was at a cozy Italian restaurant back in the Springs. It was a favorite of Sam’s and with the week she was having, Jack was more than happy to do anything to cheer her up. Vala had elected to stay behind and do what she could to help Ba’al’s former host, so it was just the guys and Sam. Conversation had been sparse while they ate, but then Daniel had to poke the sleeping bear.

“So, Sam. How are you really? We heard about what happened in the gateroom and …”

All of Sam’s repressed anger exploded in a fiery tirade. Most of which was directed at Jack.  She stormed from the table, leaving a group of dumbfounded men. All except for Jack, who quietly settled the bill. 

“Jack. She didn’t mean it.”

“She’s right, Daniel. I’m useless at this job.”

“I’m certain Colonel Carter does not blame you, O’Neill.”

Jack just shook his head sadly, “Look after her guys. She needs you right now.”

“She needs you, Sir.”

“No Mitchell, I’m the last person she wants.” Jack left the restaurant, his heart heavy.

Sam returned to the table a few moments later having composed herself. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to go off like that.” She noticed the chair next to her was empty, the untouched piece of cake abandoned on the table. “Where is General O’Neill?” 

The men exchanged guilty looks before Teal’c answered, “O’Neill was called away. It was his wish that we finish the meal without him.”

Sam closed her eyes. She knew she was being unfair to Jack. Losing her posting to Atlantis hadn’t been his fault and he’d have done everything in his power to help her. She automatically reached for her phone before realizing that she’d had her service cancelled before her posting to Atlantis. Damn it. “Daniel, let me have your phone.”  She walked outside for a bit of privacy, “Jack, I’m sorry. Please call me. Uh, well call Daniel as I need to get a new phone.” The guys were waiting for her by the car. Her bleak expression told them all was not well. 

Jack’s phone vibrated in his pocket. Again. He glanced at the screen. Daniel. He knew his friend meant well, but he was not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. He turned off the phone and tossed it onto the passenger seat. The classical music that played on the radio served as a poor distraction from his mental rehashing of the day’s events. He glanced at his watch and sighed. The cabin was still a long drive away.

* * *

General Hank Landry tried to smile reassuringly at Colonel Samantha Carter as they sat outside the oval office, but he was sure it came out as more of a grimace. Meanwhile, she kept fidgeting while glancing hopefully at the outer doors. He closed his eyes. He knew that Jack O’Neill would do anything for his people, no matter what the personal cost, but Jack had taken Sam’s tirade yesterday to heart. In fact, if he had read his friend’s mood correctly, Jack had convinced himself that Sam didn’t want him there. But nothing was further from the truth. Poor Sam had spent all of yesterday frantically trying Jack’s cell, but the calls had gone straight to voicemail. His thoughts were interrupted when the president’s secretary escorted them into the oval office.

President Henry Hayes greeted them warmly and indicated they sit on the couch rather than the more formal chairs positioned in front of the desk. Hayes respected and liked Colonel Carter and had met her once before. He didn’t know Hank Landry very well yet, but as he had been hand picked by O’Neill he figured he must be good people. Jack O’Neill was one of his most trusted advisors and he didn’t suffer fools. Needless to say, he was more than a little miffed at the way the IOA had dismissed Colonel Carter. By all accounts, she had done a spectacular job in Atlantis and was a victim of politics, plain and simple.  Well, at least they were about to rectify one wrong and Samantha Carter’s day was going to get a whole lot brighter. “Where’s Jack? It’s not like him to be late.” He frowned. If he didn’t know better, Colonel Carter was verging on tears. 

“Uh, Jack’s not coming, Mr. President,” Landry answered.

“What? Why the hell not? It was his brilliant maneuvering that wrested the  _ George Hammond _ from IOA control.” Truth be told, Hayes had been surprised when Jack gave up the fight to keep Carter in Atlantis. Well, until Jack managed to get the IOA to cede control of the  _ Hammond _ . By wiping out the Replicators and decimating the Wraith, Samantha Carter had put herself out of a job in the Pegasus galaxy.  But command of the  _ Hammond _ was one posting that Carter was more than suited to tackle. Well, with or without Jack’s attendance his next move was clear, “Congratulations Colonel, on your new command, the  _ George Hammond _ . The most advanced starship in the fleet.” He grinned at Colonel Carter and was surprised to see her struggling with her emotions. He asked gently, “Colonel?”

She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak, yet. Jack had done this. For her. She didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve him. “I’m sorry. I can’t … I don’t…” 

“Nonsense. There is no one better qualified.” He exchanged a look with Hank Landry and then strode over to his desk where he picked up the phone. After a few moments, when there was obviously no answer, he hung up and pushed a button connecting him to one of his aides. “Get me the Daedalus.” After a brief pause he must have been connected for he continued, “Colonel Caldwell? Henry Hayes here. I need you to beam General O’Neill into my office. No, I don’t know where he is exactly, but he has one of those locator transponders right?” 

The next sound they heard was that of an Asgard transport beam. Standing in front of them was one General Jack O’Neill, sans shirt and shoes and holding up his partially fastened jeans. “For crying out loud! Caldwell, what the hell…” he stopped mid rant when he realized he was no longer on the bridge of the Daedalus but standing in the oval office. 

“Yes, we’ve got him, Colonel. Stand by.” The president smirked, “Jack, so nice of you to join us.” 

Hank Landry snorted. Never in a million years would he have imagined witnessing a half-naked Jack O’Neill getting beamed into the oval office. He sobered quickly when his long time friend turned to glare at him.  A glare that Jack couldn’t help but soften when he noticed the distressed Carter.

“Hank. Carter.” He discreetly fastened the fly on his jeans. “Uh sir,” he fidgeted, unsure of whether to try and cover himself or stand at attention. 

“At ease, Jack.” The president grinned as Jack crossed his arms and tried for nonchalance despite the evident blush. His grin widened when he caught Colonel Carter discreetly checking the general out. Then frowned when her melancholy mood returned. These two needed to resolve things one way or the other before they could proceed. “Colonel Carter, would you stand next to General O’Neill please?”  

“Sir?” She questioned while she complied.

“That’s fine. Now take a hold of his arm. The two of you need to talk. Now, I’m thinking Jack’s cabin is a better location for your conversation, but frankly I don’t care where you have it. I expect the three of you back here in my office Monday morning at nine am to discuss Colonel Carter’s next posting.” He flipped the intercom switch on his desk. “Mildred, please reschedule the meeting with Colonel Carter and Generals O’Neill and Landry for Monday at nine.” He turned to the two officers in question and silenced both of them with a look. “Colonel Carter, until we’ve settled the question of your next posting, you report directly to Hank and then to the Joint Chiefs.” He paused while they absorbed the significance of that order. Sam was outside of Jack’s chain of command, at least until Monday morning. He picked up the phone and asked to speak with Daedalus again. “Colonel Caldwell, stand by for transport orders.”

O’Neill was making a study of the carpet while Carter was staring straight ahead. Hayes sighed. The romantic in him knew how he hoped things would turn out, but this was something the two officers would have to resolve for themselves. He also knew without a shred of doubt that the choice would always be with Carter. So it was to her that Hayes addressed his next question, “Colonel Carter, where to?” 

Sam bit her lip. She was both mortified and a bit outraged at the president’s meddling in her personal affairs. But this would give her the opportunity to apologize to Jack. To let him know how much his support has always meant to her. To beg him for another chance. He fidgeted beside her, his eyes fixed resolutely on the carpet. Jack would be more comfortable at the cabin and she owed him that much. “Jack’s cabin,” she answered quietly.

As the transport beam took the two officers away, Hank Landry shook his head, “I hope you know what you’re doing, sir. Those are two of the most stubborn people I know.” 

Hayes sighed, “Yes, but my wife would kill me if I left it alone. She has this notion of an outdoor wedding. I’m holding out hope that Colonel Carter can make him see reason.”

The couple found themselves in the master bath of Jack’s cabin, steps away from the spa that had been Janet Frasier’s idea. The doctor’s argument that it would be good for his knees and back had finally won over his reluctance to spoil the rustic decor. He took a step away from Sam and reached for the t-shirt that he’d left lying on the counter minutes before being caught by the transport beam. He expected Carter to hide herself away in the spare bedroom until Mitchell or Daniel came to get her. Or anywhere that wasn’t near him. When he stopped feeling sorry for himself long enough to register that she hadn’t moved, he found her silently crying. Feeling like a heel, he tried to make things easy for her. “Look, I can stay in town and hop a plane back to DC in the morning. We’ll get through the meeting with Hank and the president and you’ll rarely have to see me again.”

To his chagrin she started crying harder, rocking herself back and forth and whispering, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please. I’m so sorry.” 

Unable to watch any woman -- particularly this one -- cry he opened his arms, “C’mere.” She clung to him, sobbing onto his bare shoulder, repeating her mantras of sorry. He tried to calm her, to tell her the IOA were idiots and that she had nothing to be sorry about, but that just made her cry harder. He rubbed soothing circles on her back and she shivered. He was accustomed to the cool summer nights in Minnesota but sans shirt even he was beginning to chill. “Sam, let’s go in the other room and get you warmed up, okay?”

She shook her head and nodded towards the jacuzzi. “You drove straight through yesterday. Your back must be killing you. Go ahead and get in and I’ll join you in a minute.” She didn’t have the nerve to look back at him as she disappeared through the door.

A confused Jack grabbed his swim trunks from his bedroom. He would convince her to take command of the  _ Hammond,  _ a position that she had more than earned, then step quietly out of her life. It was the least he could do. With his gameplan set, he pulled on his t-shirt and stepped into the relaxing bubbles of the jacuzzi.

Meanwhile Sam surveyed the interior of the cabin. Jack had been busy as boxes were scattered around the place with his personal belongings crammed inside. Some were marked with the address of his DC apartment while others were stacked neatly by the front door. One in particular caught her eye for it had his favorite picture of Charlie in its familiar frame. Why was he packing up his cabin? Deep down she knew, if she wanted always with Jack O’Neill then she had to set things right. Today. No more hiding. No more putting it off.  No more locking her feelings in a room. She found her bikini where she’d left it on her last trip and changed quickly. She wiped away her streaky mascara before purposely striding into the bathroom. Her father hadn’t raised a quitter and she wasn’t going to let Jack go without a fight.

When she stepped into the jacuzzi, Jack tried to give her more space. With a puzzled frown, she nestled against him again. She grabbed his hand and pulled it around her shoulders, effectively trapping him in place. Then she leaned her head against his hand and asked, “What’s with the t-shirt?”

He shrugged and tried to deflect her question with his usual self-deprecating humor, “No need to torture you with a useless, old, desk jockey’s battered torso, Carter.”

She smacked him none too lightly on the chest. “Jack O’Neill you couldn’t be useless if you tried. Nor are you old. And I very much want that battered torso. So off. Now.” She tugged at the hem of his t-shirt and began to pull it over his head.

“Carter!” He tried to deflect her, but she was determined and he didn’t want to hurt her. She flung her prize onto the floor and settled back against him, once again pulling his arm around her shoulders.

“Carter, what has gotten into you,” he huffed. In truth, he was feeling more than a little vulnerable. He didn’t want to have the conversation that he knew was coming and he especially didn’t want to have it half-naked. Even if she was wearing a rather nice bikini. Well point, she was as exposed physically as he was, but at least she had no cause for embarrassment.  

She allowed herself a brief smile at her victory and then turned serious. “I’m scared, Jack.”

“Sam, you have no reason to be afraid. You were born to command a starship. You’ll do great with the  _ Hammond _ .”

She shook her head. “That’s not what scares me. What if ... what if I let things go too long? What if I can’t fix this?” He felt her tears as she hugged him closer, and he almost missed her whispered, ‘’What if you don’t forgive me and I lose you forever?”  

He blinked. He must have misheard that last part. Best to start with something he knew. “Carter, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that there is nothing you can’t fix if you set your mind to it. National treasure, remember? But what exactly are you trying to fix? The IOA? They’re not worth the effort.”

“Not the IOA. Us,” she mumbled.

“Us? Carter, I don’t...” he stammered, at a complete loss.

“No, of course you don’t. I’m sorry, Jack. I have no right to ask your forgiveness. I don’t blame you for hating me, because I’ve treated you terribly. I’ll email Landry my resignation, and call a cab.” She tried to pull out of his grasp, which he had instinctively tightened when she’d become so upset. “Please, let me go.” 

“Sam! Stop. Please. Forgive you for what? And what does it have to do with you resigning?” He turned her so that she was facing him, but he didn’t relinquish his grip on her hand. Sam Carter was in full flight mode and if he wanted to get to the bottom of this he needed to hang on. Given time and space, she’d lock things in a room so deep he’d never get any answers.

“Jack O’Neill stop playing dumb! You can’t have forgotten that little scene at the restaurant already!”

He released her hand and dropped his gaze. He would let her go. It was what she wanted.  But he damn well wasn’t going to watch her give up her career just to stay away from him. “I’m sorry. You were right. I am useless. But you can’t resign, because the program still needs you. I’ll retire.”

Her eyes widened at his defeated look. The truth hit her like a blast of C4. Jack didn’t know the depth of her feelings for him. She closed her eyes as she mentally played back the last few years. She had been so worried about what others would think that she hadn’t considered how it must have appeared to him. Hell, Jack probably didn’t even think they were friends. Friends call each other or at least email. And when had she initiated contact that wasn’t work related? She shook her head at her own stupidity. How could she have gotten things so wrong? She didn’t need to convince him to forgive her, she needed to convince him to forgive himself, among other things. She stroked the side of his face, “Jack, look at me please.” When she finally had his attention she continued, “I love you.” When he tried to look away she gently guided his face back to hers, “I do. I love you. I’ve been a coward, hiding behind locked rooms and regulations. And I won’t even mention Pete. But deep down, I’ve known it’s always been you. You’re my other half, Jack. I don’t believe it’s coincidence that in every other universe or timeline we’ve been together. We’re soulmates, you and I.” Tears leaked from her eyes as she continued, “And if I’ve let things go too long, or if you no longer feel the same, then I’ll get a few dozen cats and live alone. You’ve always made it about my happiness. Well this time, I can’t be happy unless you’re happy. I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Jack. Whatever it takes, even if it means walking out that door and out of your life forever. Just tell me the truth. Tell me what  _ you _ want.” She held her breath and looked into the expressive brown eyes that could never lie to her, no matter what duty or the regulations required.

He took a deep breath. He supposed the right thing for him to do would be to lie to her and let her go. Despite her dire predictions, he knew she’d find someone infinitely better and would not be destined to live out her life with only cats for company. But she’d asked him to be honest, and he could refuse her nothing. “Carter. Sam. I love you too. I don’t know what you want with a tired, old airman, but I’m willing to give us a try with one condition.” 

“Anything. Name it.” 

“That  _ when  _ you find someone better, you move on and don’t look back.”

She shook her head vigorously, “Don’t you get it? There is no one better.”

“Please, Sam. We both know that isn’t true. I don’t deserve you and you deserve ...”  

She shushed him with a kiss. And any further protestations with more of the same before he finally pulled back in a huff. 

“You’re not playing fair,” he complained.

“Nope.” She kissed him again, this time with considerably more passion. One hand trailed through his greying chest hair while the other snaked around behind his head and held him close.

“Carter, stop. We have to stop.”

“Why?”

“Because of the regs.” 

“The president specifically said that I reported to Landry and then to the Joint Chiefs until my next posting becomes official. You’re not my CO, not even in my chain of command. That leaves us four days. Now shut up and make love to me.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He lifted her easily in the water and turned her so she sat facing him on his lap. He cupped her face gently and kissed her, teasingly at first, but then more insistently. He smiled and lingered whenever he found a particularly sensitive spot.  

Sam was completely lost in the sensations. She’d forgotten how expertly he kissed. Of course, there were other things they’d done as Jonah and Thera that she had blocked from her mind. “Ahhh,” she giggled when he found that ticklish spot on her neck where it met her shoulder. She tried to squirm away when he continued to place butterfly kisses followed by gentle licks. “Jack, it tickles. Stop.” She playfully swatted at him and tried to distract him by tickling across his chest, but he pulled her in tight and continued to attack the spot with relish. Just when she thought she could take no more, he moved his kisses downwards across the tops of her breasts. She expected him to remove her top, and almost decided to reach around and untie it for him, but he seemed to be doing just fine on his own. She gasped when he mouthed her nipples over the material, allowing the silky fabric to add to the caress of his lips and tongue. She leaned back and groaned in pleasure as he alternated between her right and left breast.  

He peeked up at her. Seeing her with eyes closed and head thrown back was one of the most erotic things he’d ever seen. With a wicked grin, he set about driving her crazy. He nibbled her left breast while kneading the right with his left hand. Sam was so caught up in all the stimulation she had no idea that he had snaked his right hand into the front of her bikini bottoms. Drawing his index finger through her wetness, it only took a few light circles to bring her to her first orgasm. He tightened his left arm around her and held her firmly as he continued to stroke her, keeping most of his attention on her sensitive clit. When she crested for the second time, he slipped first one finger and then another inside. She bucked wildly as he brushed her g-spot with each pump. When he felt her third orgasm approaching, he brought his left hand around and tickled her clit while he continued to pump her with his right.  

Sam screamed.  

He slowed his caresses and held her as she came down, gulping for oxygen. “Shh. I’ve got you,” he soothed. He gently stopped her hand as she reached for his swimsuit. “Shh, we have time.”

“But you’re still ...” She wriggled against his erection and he stilled her hips with his hands.

“Yes. And if you keep that up, I’ll embarrass myself.” At her puzzled look he said, “Don’t you have any idea what a turn on it was seeing you so ...” 

Sam giggled and leaned her head against his forehead. “No one has ever made me scream before, but if you think that you get to have all the fun, you’re mistaken, mister.”

“Oh really? Is that so?” 

She giggled as he stood and put her over his shoulder. “Jack! Put me down!” She swatted futilely at his ass as he carried her into the bedroom, shrieking when he tossed her onto the bed.

She smiled prettily and crooked a finger at him. When he bent down for a kiss, she used one of the new judo moves she’d practiced with Teal’c and flipped him onto the mattress. 

After a brief tussle Jack found himself flat on his back, his hands tied to the headboard with Sam’s bikini top.  

“Uh, not that I’m complaining about the view, but what’cha doin?”

“It’s my turn,” she said smugly.

“Yes, but is it necessary to tie me up like this?” He looked a little apprehensive at the glint in her eye.

“Most definitely. I wonder, are you ticklish, Jack?” He shuddered as she lightly scratched along his torso.

“No. Definitely, not. Ahhh.” He bucked as she tickled a spot she’d found on his chest earlier. She lightly ran her fingers along his ribs and stomach, noting the spots that got the most reaction, finally relenting after a few moments so he could catch his breath. 

“Not fair,” he protested.

She smiled down at him. “Nope!”  She resumed stroking him gently, this time careful not to tickle. She had much better plans to make him squirm. She traced the pectoral muscles which had starred so prominently in her fantasies. As she moved down towards his waist he tried to twist away. She looked up with a grin but sobered when she detected his discomfort.

“Jack?” 

He closed his eyes and muttered, “Sorry. No miracles. Not able to do crunches anymore. We don’t have to… ”

“Jack, look at me please.”

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes. Sam hated that he looked so self-conscious. True, he’d put on a few pounds since taking the post in Washington, but so had she, and he was still a damn attractive man. Now she just had to convince him. “Jack, I don’t care about a few extra pounds. What I do care about is that you are alive and want to be with me. I love you, Jack, the whole package: bad knees, twingy back, smart mouth and all.”

“But …”

She kissed him firmly, passionately. “No but, except for your very nice one.” She pinched it lightly for emphasis. “God, do you have any idea how hard it was for me to concentrate on missions when I was staring at your six?”

He swallowed and she could see some of the doubt receding from his eyes. She started caressing him again, running her fingers through his chest hair.  

“Sure you aren’t bothered by the grey?” 

She swatted him and giggled, happy to see him joking again. His humor had always been self-deprecating, but as long as he followed it with that cocky grin she so loved. Ah there it was. She let her hand drift under the waistband of his swim trunks, smiling when she found him very aroused. With her attention diverted, she failed to notice that he’d escaped his bonds. She shrieked as he rolled them over.

“A bit sloppy there, Colonel.”

  
“Well, I was a little distracted,” she teased.

“Little,” he huffed. He went for the ticklish spot on her neck, but this time she knew it was a diversion and stopped his hand before it could reach her bikini bottoms. She rolled them until she was on top again. 

“Stay,” she commanded as she slid off his swim trunks. 

She stood and removed the rest of her swimsuit and then quickly straddled him once again. Staring into his eyes, she sheathed herself onto his erection in one swift motion. 

“Sam!” He nearly bucked her off at the unexpected sensation. “Uh, do you want me to use protection?” 

“No need. My birth control implant is still good for another year.” She felt him twitch inside her. She moved slowly, gripping him with her internal muscles. 

“God, Sam. If you keep doing that, I’m not going to last long,” he groaned.

“Do what?” she asked innocently as she gripped him a little tighter. 

He grabbed her hips and changed her angle slightly, so that he was hitting her g-spot with every stroke. The result was so intense that she cried out, her fluttering muscles signalling another impending orgasm. Jack, resolute in his desire that she always come first, reached between them and stroked her clit with just the right speed and pressure. 

Sam had thought nothing could be more intense than the orgasms she’d had earlier, but boy had  she been mistaken. Waves of pleasure rippled over her in an unending pattern. With one last shudder, her body went limp. “Oh, my god. What the hell was that?”

Jack smiled at her and brushed a kiss on her sweaty forehead. “I take it that has never happened before?”

“God no. Did you? I mean, uh,” 

“Oh yeah. No way I could last with all that going on,” he smiled at her smugly.  

She pinched his waist. “Still think I’m not attracted to you?” 

“No, ma’am.”

“Good. Glad that is settled. Now how about a hot shower?”

He waggled his eyebrows. 

“Jack!” She slapped his shoulder as she rolled out of bed and skipped out of his reach. 

“Hey, a guy gets a hot blonde into his bed, you can’t blame him for wanting to keep her there.” 

“From now on, I better be the only woman in your bed.” 

“Yes, ma’am.”

Jack threw a few steaks on the grill as she showered. He couldn’t remember a time that he’d been so happy. Well, not since Charlie. He took a deep breath and tried to quell the little voice. The one that told him that Sam was rebounding from a stressful week and that she’d come to her senses soon enough. Perhaps she already had and was making arrangements to leave. 

“Jack!”

Her shout shook him from his morbid thoughts and he blinked down at the smoking grill. Sam covered her mouth as she tried to hide her giggles. He gave her a sour look. “No giggling.” That set her off completely. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek, the occasional giggle still escaping. 

He sighed. “Sorry, these are a bit well-done.”

She laughed and kissed him again. “It’s fine.” She tugged on his arm and pulled him back inside. After rummaging around the kitchen they opted for a simple meal of scrambled eggs. Jack wasn’t really a bad cook, but he did have a tendency to burn things when he got distracted. She kept the conversation light until dinner was in front of them. “Jack, what were you thinking about when you were charring the meat?”

He looked down at his nearly empty plate and pushed it away. Quite a few sarcastic deflections crossed his mind, but he decided that she deserved an honest answer. “Have you decided what you are going to tell the president on Monday?” 

Sam’s first reaction was anger. They’d finally taken their relationship to the next level and he wanted to talk about work! But she bit back her angry retort. Then it hit her. This wasn’t about work. Well not really. In his own convoluted way, he was asking about them, because if she said yes to the president, then she would be back solidly in Jack’s chain of command. Not directly, as she supposed she’d still report to Landry, but close enough that an overt relationship would be forbidden by the Air Force. She reached over and took his hand, “Jack, today has turned into one of the happiest days of my life. Commanding the  _ Hammond _ would be an unbelievable career opportunity, but I’m not willing to sacrifice us. Not anymore.”

He squeezed her hand before letting her go. “Sam, it’s your dream. You’ve dreamed of being an astronaut since you were a little girl. Now you have the chance to be the first woman to command a starship. You can’t let this opportunity go. You’d wind up resenting me.”

She heard what he was leaving unsaid. That he wasn’t worth it. _ Damn it _ .  _ There had to be an answer!  _ She closed her eyes. Jack was right, commanding the  _ Hammond _ would be fulfilling one of her lifelong dreams. But, was it fair to ask Jack to wait? Again. The clank of dishes washing in the sink drew her from her thoughts.  As Jack quietly cleaned up, she could tell by the slump in his shoulders that he had resigned himself to being let down. Again her temper flared.  _ How dare he assume that she would choose her career over him? _ But then her little voice, the one she tried to ignore when she wanted to lie to herself, reminded her cruelly that she always had before.  _ Always _ . That was what she wanted with Jack. This thing between them wasn’t merely lust, or wanting something forbidden. She had missed him terribly since his transfer to Washington. And her next posting would take her away from him for extended periods. Didn’t Jack say that his being away so much had driven a wedge between him and Sara? No. She wasn’t going to go down that road. Comparing their relationship to that of Jack and his ex-wife could lead only to badness.  _ Wife _ . Mind made up, she walked up and hugged him from behind.

He patted her arm with a soapy hand. “You know it’s the right decision, Carter.”

He had called her Carter. Another sign of his withdrawal. She tightened the hug. “Jack, did you mean it when you told me always?”

He twisted around so he could see her. “Carter? I would never stand in your way. And you know I’ll help you in any way I can.” He looked puzzled and a little hurt that she would doubt him.

“No. I know that, Jack. But what I meant was ...” she took a deep breath to fortify her nerves. “Marry me?”

The plate slipped from his grasp and into the sudsy water. He blinked. Did she just propose to him? “Sam?”

She let out the breath she was holding and tried to remain calm. He hadn’t rejected her and he had called her Sam not Carter. Still, she was afraid to screw this up. After her blowup at the restaurant, this must seem to him like something out of the blue. Or worse, a rebound. And nothing was further from the truth. “Jack. This isn’t because of yesterday or because of Atlantis. Well, it is, but not for the reasons you think.” She was babbling and his brow furrowed in response.  She took another deep breath. “Can we go sit down so I can explain?" 

Jack nodded wordlessly and led her into the living room. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought many times of marriage to Carter. He had even gone as far as buying a ring for ‘someday’ but then Pete happened and he had locked it up in that room with the rest of his feelings. 

She watched him struggle as he tried to pull the mask back on. The mask he’d worn around her ever since he’d found out about Pete. _NO!_ She was not going to let him retreat. Not like this. “Jack, look at me please.” He did, reluctantly, and she slid over next to him, taking his hand in hers. “I love you, Jack. I have for a long, long time. At first, I thought it was just a crush, but I knew I was in trouble the moment we locked horns during that first briefing.”  

“The lunatic fringe, eh?”

She nudged his shoulder playfully. “I had memorized everything about your first mission to Abydos and had already idolized you in my mind. And then you were there in front of me. And you were stunning.”  Still holding his hand tightly, she covered her face with her free hand. “So of course I went and challenged you in front of the entire room. I thought for sure that you’d boot me from the team right after we returned from Abydos. Especially since you’d made it quite clear that the only reason I was on the team at all was because of Hammond’s orders.” 

He tugged their joined hands. “You were hot, challenging me like that! And I was being an ass. I deserved it, and much worse. And as for kicking you off the team, you more than proved yourself worthy. I was wrong, Sam. I don’t ever want you to doubt your capability. It’s been my honor and privilege to serve with you.” 

“Jack?” She thought the conversation had been going well, but this was sounding like a goodbye.  She tightened her grip on his hand. 

He looked intently into her eyes. “Sam, don’t you see? If you marry me, every promotion that you’ve rightly earned will be questioned. You’re destined for greatness, Sam. I can’t, I won’t stand in your way.”

“NO! Damn it! I don’t care. Screw them! Screw the Air Force!”  She cried tears of frustration.

He pulled her to him. “Shh. You don’t really mean that. You’ve worked so hard, Sam. Don’t throw it away on a washed up, old airman.” 

She pulled back and glared at him. “NO! God Damn it! I am not giving up on you. On us. After everything we’ve sacrificed, we deserve this. I deserve this! Us. We need a Plan B.”

“Plan B?”

“Well, since you seem pretty determined to abandon Plan A, which was to get married this weekend while I’m not in your chain of command.” She felt a moment of uncertainty, “You do still want there to be an us, right?”

He cupped her cheek gently. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand why, but if you want to try this, then we’ll find a way. I can retire.”

“Oh hell, no.”

“Sam.”

“No. Look, Jack I’ll take the command of the Hammond for a time. It’s not like the president is going to let you retire. And when his term ends, we can revisit the idea of one or both of us retiring.” 

“But Sam, I don’t want there to be any question as to your merits.” 

She silenced him with a quick kiss. “Oh, Jack. Where have you been? Those rumors and innuendos have been going around for years.”

“But ...”

“Jack.” She stroked his arm to avert the brewing storm. “There will always be those who believe that any woman in the service got to where they are by sleeping their way to the top. For years, I let the opinions of others matter too much. When my father was dying, he helped me to see the truth. That I could have it all -- you and the career -- as long as we followed the regulations to the letter. Truth was, we broke the spirit of the regulations years ago. Just ask Teal’c how crazy I’d get whenever you went missing.”

“Without elaborating on how wrong you are about you breaking the regulations, or any rules for that matter, let’s just back up. Jacob would have killed me a thousand different ways, slowly and painfully, before he’d let me near you.”

“You’re wrong, Jack. My father adored you and he knew how much I loved you. It’s why he always disobeyed the Tok’ra and came to your rescue anyway. He knew I would have never forgiven him if something had happened to you that he could have prevented.” 

“Alright, allowing for Jacob’s temporary loss of common sense, when did we break the regulations?” 

“We didn’t. And that is something for us both to be proud of. No matter how many times we saved the world, we didn’t put some young woman at risk by opening the door for more unscrupulous officers that would take advantage of someone in their command.”

“But ...”  

She kissed him soundly. “Jack, I love you. And I love that you have always looked after me. I can’t change the minds of the truly bigoted. But knowing that we’ve decided to get married after all this, it makes a difference. It’s no longer a nebulous someday, but a firm promise. I  _ want _ to marry you, Jack O’Neill.”

Jack rubbed a hand over his face. There was nothing he wanted more than to marry Sam, but she shouldn’t have to make all the sacrifices. He opened his mouth, but she answered the unasked question. “Equal partners, Jack. Funny how in most everything else you’ve led and I’ve been content to follow. But don’t think I haven’t noticed that when it comes to us, it has always been my lead. That’s why I want you to be really be okay with this. If you don’t want me to be gone for weeks or months on end, say the word and I’ll ask for a different posting.”

He kissed her soundly. “Hell no! Nothing but the best for my girl,” he teased, waggling his eyebrows. 

She pinched him lightly and then rolled her eyes. “Better think hard on that statement, O’Neill. Do you really want me in the kitchen?” 

Jack gulped. “Point taken.” He sobered. “Sam, are you sure?” 

“Yes! Look, if it will make you feel better, how about we keep the news of the engagement to just family?” 

It wasn’t perfect, but it would keep most of Carter’s naysayers at bay until she could prove herself. “Deal. But one question, are you going to buy me a ring?”

“Hell no. But my ring size is a seven, in case you were wondering.”

“Yes ma’am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fills hurt_comfort bingo prompt: undeserved reputation


End file.
